one two three fourrrrnication!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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