we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
