I'm lost and stupid without you.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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