Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I supernannyed him into submission
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
