SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
