So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
