I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
