We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
