As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
