it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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