DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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