He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
