I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We are all done wearing pants today
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
