i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
