Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
