Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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