i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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