Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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