my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
