i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
