Will you blow on my dice?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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