My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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