from now on my penis is your penis
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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