So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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