I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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