I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just tell him i said nine months
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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