I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We had sex on a dog bed..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
