eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
