new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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