i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
