wat bout pragnant strippers??
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
