It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
