i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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