Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
