So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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