she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
