I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
