I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
