it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just tell him i said nine months
You smell like a Billy Joel song
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
