U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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