If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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