I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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