I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
