This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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