I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
