There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
