Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You are the jesus of drinking
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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