I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
