I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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