So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize