Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
are you so shy because you have an std?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
