What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
